Thursday, March 12, 2015

Explanation of my recent FB trim

I have been pretty honest about my struggles with Facebook here on my blog.  {At the bottom of this post, you will see links to my old posts if you wanted to go back to read them.}  For me it goes so much more beyond just wasting time.  I have called it an addiction because of all the issues and emotions surrounding it for me, which I won't get into again, but you can read about in those links below if you want.

I did something last night that I have been thinking about doing for some time.  I did something that many do without any hesitations at all, but for me it was HUGE.

I "unfriended" over 200 people.  
Pfft... Big deal you say?  Well it was for me!

I was the person who added anyone I ever met!  I used to be on classmates.com and gradfinder.com before the days of Facebook.  I enjoyed catching up with old school friends to see what they looked like and what they were up to.  So when I got Facebook I added anyone I knew because I wanted to catch up and keep in touch!

But this added up to too many people to follow.
The Facebook timeline can only show you so much.  Aside from friends, I also "unliked" many of the businesses and pages I followed.  I did that because all those status updates and shares were just so overwhelming.  If I want an update on Kohl's or Target for example, I can just visit their page.  It's public anyway!

It's all just too much.  And it distracted me from what was most important.

So I decided to let my past be the past, and to start living fully in my present.
It was difficult to do because I was letting go.
And I don't want to hurt anyone's feelings.  I do like people and I enjoy seeing the things they care about and post.  And I like to reminisce about the old days gone by with childhood friends, old classmates and old co-workers.

But I was feeling overwhelmed by all the information at my fingertips.
And I wasted time scrolling through looking at everyone's photos and updates.
I just needed to simplify.


Some say to delete my Facebook account if it's such a big deal!
But honestly, it is a super awesome tool!  And I love keeping in touch with family and friends.  I love having a place to stay connected to local friends and staying current with what's going on in the area.  As a homeschooling family this is essential!  Plus I've been doing my online bible study, and we connect through a Facebook group.  If I were to delete my account, I would be letting go of the good with the "bad".  And that isn't necessary.  So here I am again, tweaking how I do things so I can have the most peace in my life.

I was really convicted this week while we doing my bible study{Good Morning Girls}.  In Matthew 5 Jesus talked about cutting things out of our life that cause us to stumble.  When I read that part, I immediately thought about Facebook!  And cutbacks were what I needed to do.


The way I decided who to keep and who to remove was by asking myself some questions....
Are they in my life now or part of my past?
Can I say three things about them, like the names of their kids?
Am I friends with them just to be nosy?

If they were a part of my past and not bridged to my present OR if I didn't know much about them OR the biggy, I am hanging on because I am nosy, then I removed them from my account.

Not meant to insult.
Just meant to be realistic about what I can handle.

So I write this post to explain because of the guilt I feel towards some people who I have fond memories of.  This "unfriending" thing brings lots of emotions for me so I really hope people understand.  And I hope this post might encourage someone else who also has this struggle with Facebook too!  If the time you spend online is a problem for you, then you might also enjoy some of my older posts, links below.  You are not alone!!

Some of my previous posts about Facebook:
Tips for limiting time on Facebook
Limiting how I personally use Facebook
A video showing how I streamline my time on Facebook
A big confession on how Facebook is my addiction
{To find more, just use the search box in the right column of my blog!}

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3 comments:

In Light of the Truth... said...

I totally support you in this! It was nice to find my old classmates and see where they're at in life, but I reached a point where I no longer felt it necessary to REMAIN "friends". So I went thru my list and wayyy simplified to friends I actually have contact with and also deleted all males (except family members). I still have people trying to re-friend me so they can advertise their sales products to me--sooooo annoying!! (That's a whole other thing that's started on FB, sigh) Information overload, and even EMOTIONAL overload is a very real struggle sometimes! As life continues to change, evaluating and making changes accordingly is good and necessary! =) Thanks for sharing!

Bridget Childress said...

I completely understand. Social media can be a strong addiction. As a blogger it seems to be an even bigger problem because you need them to have your articles viewed! Lover your honesty and transoarency .

J Dub said...

As a Christian homeschooling mom of 3 (ages 11, 13 and 15) I can say that leaving FB years ago was a complete blessing. I am one of less than a handful of people not on it, and yet, I live, and seem happier than everyone I know who is on it... I've wanted to minister in real life to the people near where God has planted my family, and it seems to me folks are just distracted by FB, not enhanced by it. My personality just clashes with the likes of FB as well. I find shallow relationships of little satisfaction and didn't feel any closer to people through that medium.

Of course the younger generation struggles with IRL interactions and one reason we avoid having Smart Phones and all of the online things is so our kids can also say no. My husband and I share a flip phone...we also don't have cable...I know, you probably picture my kids wearing 'unsocialized homeschooler t-shirts' now...) ;)

Recently on vacation I got a call from someone I really don't know that well. She told me of a death that happened at our former church, which I left over 4 yrs ago. I struggled to remember just who she was talking about, and how she started this odd call sums up my feelings on FB, "I know you aren't on FB so I wanted to let you know..."

Right. I'm not on it and don't need to be called on vacation to be told someone I don't remember died.

It is sad how many people lose touch with reality when consumed with FB. I'm glad you have found a way to cut back and simplify.