Tuesday, September 23, 2014

Potty-training blues

Back in February of this year, I wrote this wonderful celebratory post about my third monkey being potty-trained.  {Click HERE to read it.}  Sadly not much has changed in 7 months - except he's older.  At 4 1/2, he still won't initiate going to the bathroom himself.  I have sought help from so many friends and much of the advice is the same... to give him time, take the pressure off and one day he'll start doing it on his own.
{photo from morgueFile}

TMI - don't read if you don't like reading about poop.  Sharing only to encourage others in the same boat!
I did back off but my sweet little cupcake still won't say when he has to go!  I usually tell him to pee and wash his hands before snacks and meals.  He stays mostly {pee} accident free if I do this but doesn't go on his own... ever! 
As for #2, the usual is that I hear "Moooooommm!  Colin pooped." from another child.  I yell: "Colin get to the bathroom."  I follow him and discover he only pooped a little and he finishes on the toilet.
{Tip:  I have a little bin next to our toilet for lightly soiled items so I can do a separate pre-wash.  If there is too much poop, I actually throw the undies away.  I hate the rare big messes and since he has so many pairs of underwear, this works for us!}

There are days I get so frustrated.  I've done all I can to guide and help him.  Why can't he just go on his own?!  I did the reward charts.  I even went through a period where I disciplined him.  But nothing worked!  I have been patient and I KNOW it is NOT from lack of anything on my end.  Ugh!  When will that little switch flip in his brain?!

I was having a bad accident-filled day recently.  He actually pooped, it went down his leg and smeared on his bedroom carpet after another child stepped on it.  It was nasty.  And I was fed up.  I decided that I better resort to discipline again and gave him a stern warning!  He was just being plain lazy!  He had to know that he pooped!

Later, that very same day, my friend Tami emailed me with information that she thought might help me from a book she recently read.  {Strange coincidence huh?  The day I wanna be tougher on Colin, an angel appears - ha!  Lucky kid!}.  She knew of my frustration because I had vented to her many a time!

The information was from the website: "It's No Accident".  They suggest that accidents are related to constipation!  I don't want to say too much now because I haven't read the book, but if you are struggling like I am, check out the website and see if you see your situation described on there.  I know that much of what I read was pretty familiar to me so I ordered the book right away!  *fingers crossed*

Excerpt below from Amazon that describes what's on the back cover:
Link to Amazon HERE.

"Here’s a reality sure to shock parents: Our nation has a silent epidemic of toileting troubles. No one posts on Facebook, “My kid wet the bed again,” yet accidents, bedwetting, and urinary tract infections are rampant and on the rise.

These messy and embarrassing problems — stressful for parents and children alike — are typically dismissed (“Kids are kids”; “She’ll outgrow it”), misdiagnosed, or undertreated. That’s because most parents and many pediatricians are unaware of a research-proven fact: Virtually all childhood potty problems are caused by holding — poop, pee, or both.

What’s behind the holding? In this eye-opening book, Dr. Steve Hodges explains why millions of potty-trained kids are clogged with poop and holding pee, problems related to the Western lifestyle, pressure to toilet train too early, inadequate potty-training follow-up, and misguided school policies.

Dr. Hodges helps families recognize the subtle signs of holding and offers research-based strategies for resolving the wetting episodes and infections related to constipation. Parents and kids will cheer: No more wet undies or bedsheets!"

Hopefully I will learn a lot and be able to share more advice about this very frustrating part of parenting!  I think it's really hard to be a Mom of a kid who isn't fully trained because I'm afraid of being judged as a bad Mom.  And I don't want my son to be labeled a lazy or bad kid because of it either.  It is encouraging to me to know that it really could be a medical issue and I really hope I find some answers to help my babe.

Linking to the Time Warp Wife for her link up party as women encourage one another!  

post signature


Suzanne Schlosberg said...

Hi, I'm Dr. Hodges' coauthor on It's No Accident. So glad you found our book. Dr. Hodges knows that the heck he's talking about — I know from experience with my own child. Any 4.5 y.o. who's not fully trained is constipated, so you are on the right track. Be aggressive about treatment, and stay with it! Holding habits die hard. Just when you think you have it nipped in the bud, problems resurface, so stay vigilant!

Mary said...

Thank you for visiting my blog, taking the time to comment and encouraging me! I am almost half way through the book and learning lots! Will post an update in a couple weeks!