Monday, July 8, 2013

Parenting is hard.

Parenting is a really really hard thing.  Well "purposeful, feeling responsible for your kids" kinda parenting is.
Working at home and being with your kids 24/7 is draining.
I am on call... always.
There are days I think working outside the house would be easier... an escape!
I laugh at TGIF posts on Facebook.  I don't have weekends.  I can't call in sick.

It's been especially hard lately taking them out in public...  And I should clarify... taking my 6 & 3 year old boys out.  My 8yo Vienna is usually really good.
It's not that my boys are bad or totally out of control.  They are just busy and self-centered.  They do what they want without thinking of consequences.  Manners have not yet become automatic for them.  So I am that Mom scolding, correcting and reminding them of what's expected of them.... just to have them turn around and do something else!

Last week, I was the crazy mom at the post office.  They rattled the locked display cabinet.  They stood in front of the door and blocked it.  They whined about the wait/line.  I even had that son who said loudly... "That man is fat." as he pointed to man who was getting his mail at his PO box in the foyer. {Where do they get this?  I NEVER call anyone fat.  I don't even talk like that!}  I was ashamed and embarrassed.  I had to keep reeling them in.  "Stand here"  "Don't touch that." "Get out of the door way." "Move over and let people by."  "Don't hit your brother." "Have patience we're almost done."
I didn't even know how to discipline him after the post office tragedy!  {I wanted to beat him silly to be honest!}  So I just gave him lines.  He doesn't enjoy writing much so this would be painful.  {Is it wrong to want to make them suffer? Mooo ha ha ha!}  All these lines were for what he did and didn't do at the post office!

Then yesterday we ate lunch out with friends after church.  Colin {3yo} jumped off the bench twice {like trying to fly jumping!}.  He got down and went all the way around the table to tease his little friend.  He kicked his brother, crawled under the table, stood on the bench, fought over the drink and was loud.  Lance {6yo} was loud too and teased his brother and egged him on.  He was better this day but still... not representing our family well.

Today we had a friend over and Colin was the kid who threw a toy when it's against our house rules.  He was sent to his room for a time out and then given another chance.  He did it again!!!  So I kept him in his room til our friends left.  {about 30min!}.  How dare he!!!  It's not like I am inconsistent EVER with our rules... which is why I am mentally exhausted.  I always follow through.  And don't get me started on how potty training is going.

Training and guiding our kids is HARD.  I would much rather throw video games at them, keep them out of my hair and not deal with all the discipline.  And honestly there are days I want to send them off on a school bus so someone else can take care of them for the day.

There are many nights lately that I stay up far too late because I know that when I go to bed the morning will come faster.  And honestly... I like this time to myself more than the idea of sleep.
But if I don't get sleep, I get grouchy faster.
And the cycle goes on.

It's draining.  It's tiring.  It's downright embarrassing at times.
But then you get a note like this and suddenly it all seems worth it.

It's a powerful thing.  And it's what motivates me.
Not their love for me. But God's love for me.
Oh to reflect His love to my kids... His unconditional love.  To SHOW THEM my love even when they are impatient, rude, loud, defiant and embarrassing me.  When they don't deserve it.  To love them without holding a grudge.  To love them and never replay the post office incident.  To start fresh each day.  Reconciled and happy when we wake up.  Well that is my prayer for tonight.  Along with more obedient children!  ;o)

Thanks for swinging by!


Kathy said...

Hang in there Mama!! Even at my girls ages they still do things that I think 'how dare they?! they should know better!!' but by reinforcing your rules to them over and over again it teaches them that you aren't about to get lazy or back off from your rules and you aren't going to let them get away with being so disobedient. I honestly think that's why our society is so messed up bc so many parents would rather have it easy so they give in to the screaming child in walmart or they give up on discipline way too soon. Keep doing what you're doing!! You are raising wonderful, respectful, God-honoring kiddos!!!

Sandra said...

I agree with Kathy. Your consistency will pay off. I really think that is the key. Eventually the desired behaviors will come. The other night the two little girls were PARTYING in their bed! It was late & they know the rules & Tim & I were exhausted. I turned to Tim to tell him that we should go up there & that my parents would never have allowed that. He just sighed & said he didn't care. He was just happy they were in bed. Lol! I know how hard it is to keep correcting the same behaviors & to grow weary from it. You are doing a great job! And I can see you've figured out that little boys are different fom little girls :). You have great kids & I know you love & enoy them. Keep doing what your doing!