Saturday, March 2, 2013

Calm conflict

I had someone do wrong to me.  I want to shout it from the rooftops and tell the word about it and tell them off in the process!  Well, that is my immediate reaction and thought.  That is old me.

But I am a new person in Christ.  And I don't want to live like that anymore.  I don't want to be known as someone who spreads gossip and slanders another person.  Even though they did wrong to me, they have their own issues to work through.  And they are loved by the same heavenly Father who loves me  in spite of my yuck and ugliness.

"I may not be gentle by nature, but I can be gentle by obedience...." is a quote from an amazing book called Unglued by Lysa TerKeurst.  I haven't read the whole thing yet but I skimmed through it today looking for some nuggets of wisdom and boy did I find them!  I love her books because she references so many good verses!

It's hard to be calm though!  I want to fight back and stand up for myself!
I love this next quote because it's a great reminder that I am NOT a doormat.
"Choosing a gentle reply doesn't mean you're weak; it actually means you possess a rare and godly strength." p.69
Nice!  I want THAT to be my first and immediate response!

I had so many negative emotions swirling in my heart recently.  But again Lysa reminded me that "Feelings are indicators, not dictators."  Wow!  "They can indicate there is a situation I need to deal with, but they shouldn't dictate how I react.  I have a choice." p.72
I have a choice!
I can't change the other person.  I can't even make them admit that they did wrong in the first place!
More good quotes from Lysa:
"I acknowledge that I can only control myself." p.88
"My job isn't to fix the difficult people in my life... My job is to be obedient to God in the way I act and respond to those people." p.89

So I chose to be careful of what I say.  Instead of posting a mean blog post or an anger filled facebook status, I have chosen to confide in people who I respect.  People who will pray for me and who have reminded me of how God would want me to handle it.  By doing so, I feel calmer in my very spirit.  I have also turned to God and asked Him to work out the ugly response in me and work is already being done.  Good healing work.

I had to blog about this because I know we all deal with conflict in our lives and I HIGHLY recommend this book!!!  Well that and the bible of course.  *wink*  I pray that this would bring comfort to someone who might need to hear this.

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