We all hear talk about extroverts vs introverts. But I wonder how many people really know which they are and what the labels even mean. Knowledge of what I am has helped me avoid depressions, which I have suffered from without the proper tools.
I am an extrovert. Not because I am friendly and outgoing but because I am ENERGIZED when I'm around other people. There are PLENTY of friendly introverts. But unlike them, when I don't spend time with my friends, I start to feel depressed and lonely. I learned that I need to reach out and spend time with people when I'm feeling this way. Bad, bad, bad for the extrovert to retreat emotionally and wallow alone. I also tend to go on Facebook more when I feel blah but online connections DO NOT FULFILL my inner need to connect with people. I actually spend MORE time online when I'm blue because that deep need doesn't get fulfilled. Only face to face contact really does the trick.
I think out loud, as I'm talking. Yes sometimes I say TOO much and regret it so I'm working on this BUT, when I have a lot in my head, it just swirls around with no words attached until I start talking to someone. Til then, I am often tense and agitated. Talking helps my thoughts become coherent and my anxiety lifts.
When I'm talking/working through something that's bothering me with a friend, sometimes I have regret because what comes out in the processing stage can be inaccurate and not a true reflection of my final opinion. I just think BEST when I'm talking. My husband has teased me and suggested that I talk out loud to myself. I do that too! haha! But it's different with people who give me feedback and help steer my brain.
I also like writing. I find it really helps to get my thoughts in order too. The more that gets out, the less stays in and the less stressed I am. But I have to read out loud, each and every post before I publish it. Sounds different when I say the words vs reading them in my head.
If you look up qualities of an extrovert, I do have many, but I actually do not like crowds or being center stage. I find one on one the best. I like to get deep in conversation right away. Skip the small talk and get on with it! Again I realize this is part of my need to connect.
In the same breath I don't mind talking in front of a large crowd, but I don't need the attention to fulfill an inner need. And if there is another extrovert in the room who has the spotlight, I sit safely in observation mode. I am not competitive in any way, contrary to what people might think of me.
Yes I talk a lot and fast. I interrupt others and finish sentences. I jump from subject to subject. And I am animated when I talk. Lovely extrovert qualities that some can only handle in small doses. (Hey I'm VERY realistic!) But that's the beauty of knowledge. I am in my mid-30s now and this knowledge has given me a sense of confidence. I know how to rein in a bit when needed and step it up when the party needs a little oop la! I also don't doubt myself like I used to and better understand the expectations I place on myself and the people around me.
I felt led to share this with you and make myself a little vulnerable because if anyone else struggles with social issues, this fresh perspective could be just the thing that helps. (Not to negate the serious issues that people suffer from.) But understanding how you process things and how you react to things might help you overcome some hurdles in your life.
For more info on extroverts vs introverts, just do an internet search. There are TONS of resources online.
Thanks for swinging by!