Thursday, February 16, 2012

Mary Mary Quite Contrary

Mary Mary quite contrary went through my head recently at a MOMS group meeting at my church.  A lady named Mary (great name isn't it?) spoke on marriage and she used a brilliant analogy.  A marriage is just like a garden.  Here are my notes!  My added thoughts are in italics.

Photo by me

A marriage takes time and effort to cultivate like a garden. If you don't do anything then weeds and dandelions will take over.  They don't need any attention, they will grow all on their own.
Weeds are NORMAL and part of every yard.  So don't focus on them!  Expect them.  And deal with them them.

Weeds and pests discourage people.
Photo by me.  My sad yard before I got help!

Marriages, like gardens need wise and steady effort. 

When focused on the dandelions in our husband's row and not our own row, don't take a weed whacker to the whole thing.  Don't ruin the flowers to get to the weeds.  (This really stuck out for me because I know I can be mean when I'm mad and have brought up things that don't have to do with the issue at hand.)
There will be a hot and dry seasons.  During those times, you need to water your garden more.  Sometimes you'll feel like wilting if you go outside to tend to the garden but you need to.  (Great thought when it comes to dealing with problems.  Sometimes it's easier AT THE TIME to ignore them and just be complacent.  But things will only get worse.  They need our attention.)

Song of Solomon chapter 4:12 says: You are my private garden, my treasure, my bride, a secluded spring, a hidden fountain. 
Anyone can satisfy your husband's need for kind words and good deeds but only you can satisfying him sexually.  (We have a special relationship and the importance of intimacy is HUGE!  Even with young children tiring you out!)
Look past romance and see love and commitment to one another.
People with nice gardens have fences around them because of deer.  Must set boundaries. (Ie. P0rn, etc.  Be careful of what you are bringing into the relationship.)
Seek help from the Master Gardener.  (GOD!  There is so much wisdom found in the bible, to guide us how to have a healthy marriage.)

Some book recommendations from the crowd during the Q&A time:
The Love Dare
Created to be his Helpmate
Redeeming Love
Love and Respect
No More Headaches
His Needs, Her Needs

See?!!  Great analogy wasn't it!  I got so much from Mary's talk and am so grateful for godly women like her in my life.  If you are local and can get to MOMS, I highly recommend it!!  Next month they're talking about Disciplining Thru The Years.  Can't wait!

Mary Mary Quite Contrary... how does YOUR garden grow?

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