Sunday, January 15, 2012

Another gentleness challenge check in - week 3

This week's post was so beyond amazing.  It just about put tears in my eyes.  I BEG you to click over and read it!!!
When I yell at my kids, it's almost always because of lack of control of my emotions and because I am annoyed, not because they deserve it.

Courtney lists some reasons that we lose our temper and offers some wisdom with each point.  Please go check it out!  I know that I related to each one!
1.  Too high of expectations. Um ya!  Sometimes I forget that my kids are only 6, 4 & 1 and don't know how the whole world works.  They need to be TRAINED and lovingly guided!  For example, when it comes to manners.  I am training my kids how to interrupt my conversations in a polite way.  It's not like they're being purposely rude; they just want whatever it is they want, but man do they tick me off sometimes and I yell at them.  What a role model I am!  ha!

2.  Exhaustion.  Yes I def was guilty of snapping lots when I had to get up thru the night with a baby.  We are passed this phase of life but it's fresh fresh fresh in my mind.  But to add to what Courtney said, I think when my kids are exhausted I lose my temper more too.  I suppose this ties to "too high of expectations" because I really don't think we can expect the same sort of good behavior from kids who are tired.  But exhaustion makes for crabbiness all around no matter who's tired.

3.  Disorganization.  Feeling rushed to get out the door with kids has to be the big one here.  Oh I forgot the diaper bag.  Oh I forgot to bring the show and tell.  Oh where is your homework?  When I am disorganized and rushed, I get grouchy!  I once read a sign in an office that read: "Lack of planning by you, doesn't constitute an emergency for me."  So many children are victims to this one huh?
If I can just think about what I need to do and plan for my day better, this eases much of that stress.  I have been working on all that in a decluttering series over with Glynnis Whitwer and that has helped me along with planning my day the night before in a notebook, which I just blogged about here.

4.  Bitterness in your marriage.  Wow.  I never thought of that one before.  But ya, lots of good stuff there.  Again I want to add bitterness towards your husband's work schedule.  When he's not around we moms have to do carry the load for the home.  That's pretty tough and that's often when I struggle.  I miss my husband and am doing EVERYTHING with no relief.  And the kids get Mean Mommy by bedtime.

I haven't been angry this week but I have been annoyed.  I think it's in part that I just want to attack all the projects on my to do list but I can't.  Meals, clean up, dishes, laundry... you know, normal life just get in the way.  So alas, I must work on my attitude more.  And continue with that other decluttering challenge as I manage my task list!


Megan said...

I hear you, Mary... I have a to-do list that I want to attack all at once too, and if I can't get to it I get frustrated! My children are more important than the dishes or dirty floor but I feel more peace when those things are done. I'm trying to find balance. Wondering if a daily schedule/plan would help me - so that I don't pile all my things I need to do in one or two days. Hmmm...
God bless you as you learn and grow along with your kids. God's mercies are new every morning - I remind myself of that often :o)

The Every Day Extraordinary said...

Being more aware of my tone has helped me--I still have my moments but it generally is because of my to do list as you mentioned. learning and growing...learning and growing: )