Thursday, November 3, 2011

Failure. Forgiveness.

Ok I'm actually writing this while it's fresh.  I was a major failure this morning.  I yelled at my daughter to get ready and out the door.  I normally am cool in the morning because I know how much time I need to get ready.  Lack of planning by me doesn't constitute an emergency for my kids.  (adapted quote I got long ago).  Our morning is always better when I stay 10-15min ahead of schedule.  But today I wasn't.  I lost it the last 5 minutes that we were trying to get out the door.  I screamed.  I yelled.  I made V get into the van with her socks on and shoes in hand.  I rushed to the end of the driveway to catch the bus.  Vienna was crying.  She was frustrated.  And so was I!
Where does A PRODUCTIVE ENDEAVOR come in?
When I humbled myself with my daughter.  When I asked for her forgiveness for my bad mood.  And when I prayed with her.
She got on the bus with tissues in hand and tears still in her eyes.  And I waved at her with tears in mine.  She is so precious to me.  I love that girl so much I ache sometimes.  It would have hurt my heart all day if I didn't stop there and get control of myself.
I am so glad we started fresh in those few minutes together.
(Strangely the bus was 6 minutes earlier than normal.)
I share with you because we all fail miserably at this parenting thing.  But it's how we dust ourselves off and move forward.  I also share this with the hope that someone reading this might learn to let go of the guilt.  I have struggled with this and am still working on it but asking my kids for forgiveness really helps me get thru the rest of my day.
Some people say tomorrow is another day and think they can just start fresh then.  I say, now is a fresh minute and make the change NOW.  We never know what tomorrow may bring.
Matthew 6:34 - Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own.

2 comments:

Emily said...

Thanks for sharing this Mary! I struggle with this A LOT!! One thing I do is ask for forgiveness from my kids, sometimes my son just pushes me away and goes to school mad at me but that is something we are working on and sometimes I do forget to and all day I feel the guilt and pain from it. It's hard and one thing I am working on.

Kathy said...

thank you for your honesty! we ALL have those days ... and the best thing is to ask forgiveness like you did. Good job Mama and don't be too hard on yourself. ;)