Sunday, August 20, 2023

My grandmother Marlene P. Brown 2/20/1939 – 8/19/2023

I lost my maternal grandmother yesterday, and the last of that generation in my family.  With her departure it feels like I’ve lost my grandfather all over again too.  Especially since growing up, it was always “Nan and Gramp”.  He’s been gone almost 12 years but since I don’t live there, it’s hard to think of him gone to be honest, and now Nan.  I have lived away from my hometown for 30 years and due to distance and covid, I haven’t been back to visit in almost 6 years.  During that time my grandmother's health declined quite a bit and she passed after her organs shut down; her body was tired.

2002

My grandmother was 38 when I was born and she wasn’t too pleased about being a young grandmother.  Ha ha... too bad!  Look how cute I was!

It all worked out because when my daughter was born, we were 5 generations alive and got this great photo!  How cool that Gramp got to see his granddaughter's daughter have a kid. {Two in fact!}

My great-grandfather, my grandmother,
my mom, me and my daughter in 2006.

My grandmother used to host Christmas every year for our family.  I have fond memories of being there Christmas Eve to watch her and Gramp open Christmas gifts and then we’d eat something yummy that she cooked up.  I loved the nuts and chocolate she had in the basement on the coffee table.  We all went back the next day because she always hosted Christmas dinner for my mom, her two sisters and family.  Those moments were some of my favorite childhood memories. Nan was known for her pies, especially her strawberry and strawberry rhubarb. She was always cooking and I can’t smell boiling potatoes or fish frying without thinking of her.  {My mom said she was baking pies last week before her passing!}

Nan always had her nails done and I used to play with her nail polish bottles, pretending they were little people.  She took me to a work party when I was a kid where Santa gave out gifts to the children. {The gifts were purchased by the families.}  I was thrilled that she got me a Michael Jackson doll!  He and my Barbies had a great time!  

She took me to visit different family members and friends like my great-Aunt Grace, my godmother and her mom, Leah & Lynn, Dick, my great-greatfather, who are just a few who come to mind.  

I moved away at age 15 and returned at 19. I lived in my hometown a year and a half before leaving again at age 20.  During the time I was there Nan and I bonded over Days of Our Lives.  I went to Bingo with her back in the smoky days with old ladies and lucky troll dolls.  She loved her yard sales and always looked for a bargain and that spirit lives strong in me!

When she was younger, Nan enjoyed quilting and I still have my baby blanket from her.  In her later years she used Facebook and I was impressed with her getting on there!  Even though I haven’t seen her in years, I am grateful for the phone chats and the ease of sharing pictures on Facebook.  

The last time I visited was in 2017 before we moved from the east coast to Arizona.  My sister hosted a party for the whole family and this is a super special memory for me.  I met my nephew and cousin's baby.  I got this fun group shot and there's Nan sitting center left.  All of us gathered, started because of her and Gramp so many years ago.

Our last picture together 2017

When we lived in CT, we traveled to New Brunswick as much as we could and I treasure the photos of her meeting each of my babies during those trips.  She didn't leave Saint John much.  In fact I asked her why she didn't travel and she said, "Why would I ever leave? Saint John has everything you need!"  haha!  

Top left is Vienna 2005. Top right is Lance 2007. And bottom is Colin 2010.

One of my favorite things about Nan is that she always sent me a card for my birthday. No matter where I lived, or how far away I was from her, she got a card to me.  I love the cards from the early days where it was personalized with my age or “granddaughter”.  Her consistency and tangible reminder that she was thinking of me contributed to my love of cards.  Back before the long-distance plans we have now, she was faithful in writing me letters and keeping in touch.  Those little gestures meant so much to me.

I have almost all the cards she sent me.  Just a couple got lost over
the years but I love that I have my 1st birthday card!

Nan had been housebound since the years of restriction due to the covid pandemic and her deteriorating health. She lived in her own home til she took a turn for the worse and went to the hospital only a few days ago.  She had wonderful caretakers who helped her.  I am also thankful that my mom and my two aunts were always there for her and helped her with her finances, shopping and having tea with her. 

The best advice Nan ever gave me was when she was having health problems years ago before her stroke and subsequent decline, was that us young people take our health for granted.  I took that to heart and because of her comment, I know to appreciate what I have and to take care of my body best I can.


 My grandmother was not known as a great woman of faith, however, she was the one who bought me first bible before getting me set up to take confirmation classes in the Anglican church when I was 9.  She was the only family member I remember going to church at Christmas.  She never talked about her beliefs with me but I pray that she found comfort in her last days and felt peace knowing where she was going.  Here’s a sweet picture of her holding me at my baby baptism in our old church, St. Jude’s.

I am going to miss her but am glad she is now at peace and reunited with my grandfather.  Nan and Gramp together... the way it always was and the way it should be.


I love you Nan.
I can hear her reply, "I love you too dear."

XO
Thanks for swinging by,
Mary



Friday, January 29, 2021

My Aunt Bunny Patterson 12/18/50 - 1/28/21

My Aunt Bunny unexpectedly passed away yesterday from a heart attack.  She is my dad's older sister, #2 of 4 siblings.  She is the mother to my two cousins Richie and Jason, who I grew up with like brothers.  It totally stinks that I can't be with my Dad, cousins and family during this time.  I live in Arizona and even if I could drive home, the international border is still closed because of COVID.  

I have lived away from my hometown now for almost 30 years so most of my memories of Bunny are from childhood.  She worked overnight as an nurse and slept through the days but still helped my mom out by babysitting me one whole summer.  I have so many memories playing with my cousins, watching many movies because she had First Choice and recorded everything on old VHS.  I remember watching Beverly Hills Cop as a kid and there was a scene were the man talked about being a virgin.  I asked her what that meant and she told me to ask my mother!  hahaha!  

Most people who know Bunny know of her incredible talent sewing, knitting and crocheting.  She made many, many Halloween costumes for many family members and friends.  She never used a pattern and they were incredible.  She was also humble and generous, never taking any money for anything!  She made me 2 costumes that I wore over and over again.... a devil costume and a blue fairy costume.  Here she and I are in 1986 where I won a costume contest at the Boys & Girl Club!

That summer she, her boys and I took the VIA train from Saint John to Ottawa to visit my Dad, who was stationed there with the Air Force.  She bought me a Disney coloring book to stay busy on the trip and I still have it.  She was always thoughtful and generous.

Years later I took my younger sisters out for Halloween.  She let me borrow a costume as I took them door to door.

I moved away and went many years without seeing her.  But on a couple trips home we connected.  She only met my kids twice:


When my first two were 1 and 3.


The last time I saw her in person was in 2015 when we had a BBQ at my cousin's house.  This was the only time she met Colin who was 5 at the time.  (We haven't been to my hometown since Nov.2017.)  She scolded me teasingly for taking her picture but I told her to never mind, it wasn't for her anyway.  Glad I have it!


The last time I saw her was at Christmas via video on Facebook Messenger when my cousin called me and Bunny was there.  I am so glad he took the time to call me then and I had those moments of laying eyes on her.

It's really hard to not be with family during these hard days.... to give hugs... to reminisce together.  I am comforted to know that she knows the Lord and we will be reunited in Heaven one day.  Til then she is hanging out with her parents and brother, surely celebrating their reunion.

In my mind, I will always picture her with this smile....  (This was taken at my cousin's wedding as she watched his bride walk down the aisle.)

{And I can't see Garfield without thinking of her.}

Til we meet again.


Obituary of Assunta "Bunny" (Melanson) Patterson

It is with great sadness that the family of Assunta “Bunny” C. Patterson (Melanson) announces her passing which occurred on Thursday, January 28, 2021, at the Saint John Regional Hospital. Born December 18, 1950, in Saint John, NB, she was a daughter of the late James and Vera (Robichaud) Melanson.

 

Bunny worked as an RN at CentraCare and the General Hospital until her retirement. She was a member of the women’s axillary for 50 years having served as former President of #2 Branch which is now #64 Branch. She had received a Palm Leaf badge for her service there. Bunny was a devoted mother to Richard and Jason, and she adored her grandchildren. A staunch Christian, she was always fun-loving, always looked at the bright side of things, always went out of her way to help others in need, and she was loyal to her family who she loved so dearly.

 

She is survived by her two sons, Richard Patterson (Cynthia) and Jason Patterson (Amber); sister, Geralda “Gerry” Stevens (Frank); brother, James “Jay” Melanson (Pamela); sister-in-law, Debbie Melanson; eight grandchildren, Skylar Patterson, Samantha Patterson, Reilly Patterson, Noah Herbert, Emma Herbert, Tanika Bourgoine, Frankie Goguen, Samantha Dean; great-grandson, Ralph Whittaker; as well as several nieces, nephews, great-nieces, and great-nephews.

 

In addition to her parents, she was predeceased by her husband, Richard D. Patterson, and her brother, Bernard “Bernie” Melanson.


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Thursday, May 14, 2020

Endurance

I read a good blurb on endurance (as it relates to parenting and posted below for your reading pleasure)... and man is it applicable to me at this point in my life.

When my kids were little I was so good at doing a lot with them.  But now they are older and I don't have to keep them alive or worry about their safety every minute, not so much.  Long gone are the days of the panic that settles in when there is nothing but silence!

In fact the silence and being left alone is quite welcoming, not gonna lie.  (Hang in there mamas of young ones, your time will come!)

Kids have their hobbies and each other.  Mama can do her own thing now.  Youngest is 10.  It's nice.

But what this devotional reminded me is that we are NOT to disengage our kids just because they are older and out of hair.  If anything, this is the time we need to push for connection.  They still need direction, coaching and wisdom spoken into their lives.

We've been in quarantine for over 60 days now.  Kids have been doing school and keeping in touch with their teachers through computers.  They're on them for entertainment too.  We watch a lot of TV.  We have Netflix, Hulu, Prime, Disney+ and RightNow Media, never mind YouTube on our smart TV.  

But I'm convicted.  

I miss spending time with my kids.  Now that we don't go anywhere together we aren't hanging out like we did before.  We used to eat out regularly before and explore Arizona, (where we moved 2 years ago).  

And they need me.  It's not time to thrown in the towel.
And I need them.  I'll be an empty nester before I know it!

We as parents need to endure and persevere and show up.  

They are worth it and it's what we are called to do.
Even if they roll their eyes at us, right?

Page 28 Bible Promises for Moms by Heidi St. John

Thanks for swinging by,
Mary

Thursday, November 14, 2019

Being Fake on Facebook

Hi everyone!
I haven't posted in quite some time but what's funny is that I have searched through my archives to share posts with people every now and again.  I love what a treasure of memories this online journal has become for me, never mind the fact that I love to write (aka brain dump).  

Every now and again I get ideas for a post and let the moment pass but today I was rather inspired.  I wanted to share about one of my favorite topics... social media!  ha!  People have strong opinions about it don't they?  ...Don't you?  I hear people complain a lot about Facebook and how "fake" people are.  How people make their lives look so much better than everyone else's.  After a quick Google search I found these "funny" ecards.  


What do you think about that?
How do you think you're perceived on Facebook?

On Facebook, I recently shared this beautiful picture of a rose from my front yard.  I moved to Arizona last year and the change in climate and what grows at different times of year still amazes me.  It's mid-November...


What was interesting is that someone commented on my picture and said how healthy it looked.  And it make me realize that by my posting that zoomed in rose, I misrepresented reality.  I mean look at the bush zoomed out!


Far from healthy!  Dead blooms all over.  It needs to be pruned desperately.  I have no knowledge on how to do this so have to google it and it's low on my list priorities right now.

But that wasn't why I posted it.  I didn't post it to pretend to be an amazing gardener.  I posted it because I admire the absolutely gorgeous bloom on such an overgrown mess!  I appreciate beauty.  Does that make me fake?

It got me thinking about all my other posts.  I do a lot with my family.  We love exploring and doing things together, especially living in a new part of the country.
But what I DO is not how I FEEL.
I'm not posting my feelings all over Facebook.
I save those for those who take time to talk to me in real life.  {Or those who read my blog. *wink*}
Why do we as a society think that people are being fake when they share things they do?
Or why would people think that people like me are trying to be better than everyone by posting pictures of our adventures?

Anyway, that rose bush is pretty symbolic of my life right now.  My kids are 14, 12 and 9... nuff said - ha!  I have been away from home in the Northeast for a year and a half.  I miss my besties more than ever.  I haven't been to my hometown in 2 years and miss family more than you could know.  My husband works shift work so I'm a single mom a lot.  I have culture shock.  I've had some minor medical issues.  And the list goes on....  BUT I choose to focus on the ONE GORGEOUS bloom in my overgrown garden of life.  It's Jesus.  The one consistent, beautiful, steadfast, loving, never-changing, wise, example for me Jesus.  Like the rose's aroma drifts beyond the bloom, His love spreads over my life.  Through Him, I can see and appreciate the new friendships, my cozy home, the time we do have together as a family among other blessing blooms.  This doesn't make me fake; it makes me grateful.

So there ya go.  Perhaps a reality check for the insecure.  Facebook isn't necessarily people being fake.  It's people sharing what they're doing.  If you want to get to know what they're feeling, call, get together and TALK.  The only fake thing I see is people who never reach out but call you a friend.

Thanks for swinging by,
Mary