Friday, September 15, 2017

Book recommendation: Love & Logic

Back in the Spring our local elementary school hosted a seminar with this catchy flyer that got my attention!
{Flyer posted on school website}
The seminar was based on the book Love & Logic which was on my "must read" list.  I learned a lot that night and now am the happy owner of these two books.  The original is orange and the green is for teens.  {They also have one for preschoolers which was recommended at the seminar if you have younger kids.}

One of the teachers at the school read the original book and tested the concept in her classroom.  After a year of success, she presented it to her team and now the whole preschool program uses it. The quick of it... It's all about having the kids make decisions and teaching them to be responsible for the consequences of their choices.

I love the concepts presented in the books!  They introduced me to what's called "consultant style parenting".  They wrote: "As children grow, they move from being concrete thinkers to being abstract thinkers when they are teens.  Children need thoughtful guidance and firm, enforceable limits. ..... Because of this important change in cognition, parents must adjust the way they parent to meet the needs of the new thought processes taking place in their adolescents. They step back a bit from being the enforcer of limits and let reasonable, real-world consequences do the teaching." {Orange book, pg.27}

I really think that is why so many people butt heads with their teenagers!  They try to make the kids do as they say and it doesn't work anymore. I know the teen years are full of emotions from hormones to growing in independence but I don't want to go through them battling every day.  I really liked this book and it gave me lots of practical ideas as they outlined a bunch of scenarios. I have tons of tabs and plan to refer back to them!  I'm so grateful for parenting books like these!

Sunday, August 20, 2017

Schooling Changes

As we get ready for a new school year, we look forward to some changes!  

Our eldest, Vienna will be starting grade 7, our 10 year old Lance goes off to Middle School with his sister {eek.. it starts in grade 5 in our town!} and our youngest Colin will be staying at home with me for grade 2.  He's been wanting to homeschool since last summer but we encouraged him to stay in public school especially since he had one of the best teachers ever imaginable last year.  Even so, his desire to be at home with me remained.  His sister was homeschooled for grades 2, 3 & 4 and Lance was homeschooled for K, 1 & 2.  Colin was a toddler and preschooler at the time so he dove right in public school for kindergarten. He has been a great student in school so it's definitely not because he has had any problems.  In fact, our elementary school is pretty darn awesome.  But I'm keeping him home for a couple simple reasons.... We live in a country with many options and we can!  I want more time with my baby!  He never really had the chance the be at home with me and man does time fly!  

The other two were very supportive and both want to remain at their school.  One actually said that this will be good for Colin because he doesn't remember all the things we used to do together.  I look forward to the time I get to spend with him exploring and learning together.  He doesn't remember the Children Museums we frequented and I want him to have time to create and play and use that big imagination he has. Thankfully, Middle School gets out at 2:20pm so I'll have all my kids home pretty early. 

Time flies and we continually pray for guidance while raising these kids.  We are open-minded to homeschooling the others if that's what God leads us to do.  We always try to do what is right for them but right now this is what we have in front of us.  We are excited about the changes and I love the advice I heard.... Schooling decisions aren't permanent decisions.  We take it year by year and this year is no exception.

To everyone getting ready for a new school year, good luck!  I know there are so many emotions this time of year for parents and kids.  Good bye my freedom!  LOL!  I shall look back at the past two years with fondness.  haha!

Thanks for swinging by,

Thursday, May 25, 2017

Family-friendly media options

My kids are 12, 10 & 7 so I am careful to limit what they are exposed to and keep things age appropriate.  Here are some great resources if you are in the same boat.

Each child has their own profile.  Within that, there are different levels of access they have.

Here is my 12 year old's profile.  She can view anything rated for teens and below.

For added security, we have a passcode for anything rated R or above.

Another option is Pure Flix.  It's a faith-based and/or family-friendly streaming service with a wide variety of Christian movies.  I'm not going to lie... sometimes the acting is a little hit or miss but I really enjoy the messages of many of these shows.  They offer a free month-long trial so it's worth checking out!  We're doing the trial now and have enjoyed "Bear with Me" which was a good movie that all my kids liked, which is a rarity!  My daughter and I watched "Touched by Grace" and it had a good message {I may or may not have cried}.  She and I watched "Jig" which was about Irish dancing, following specific dancers and we liked that.  The boys have watched VeggieTales.  There are documentaries and lots of other options.  I recommend taking a look using the trial!  Can't go wrong with that!
Pure Flix

When my kids were younger, I used to subscribe to Jelly Telly which is produced by the creator of VeggieTales, Phil Vischer.  It has any faith-based shows for little kids.

Sometimes we have movie night and I love this resource!  It's for movies, TV shows, books, music and games but I definitely use the movie info the most.  I love that it gives a synopsis of the movie and outlines the various elements of concern. We each have our own convictions so you may not care about language but want to know about a movie's violence or sexuality content.  The categories are clearly labeled in an easy to read format.  They review new movies playing in theaters too so this is a very up-to-date resource.

Sometimes the kids want to watch things on YouTube. I keep restricted mode on but even safer is "YouTube Kids" or even "GodTube".  They have tons of video clips that kids love watching.  Also on my computer, I have set as my home landing page.  It's a kid safe search engine powered by Google.

I used to have filter on my computer but found it was too slow.  If anyone has a recommendation on a great computer filter that'd work on a PC and apple gadgets, I am definitely interested.  Or if anyone has other resources that are family-friendly, please leave a comment and let me know!  I appreciate it.  We can't be too careful when everything is just a click away!

Be careful little eyes what you see.  

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Tuesday, April 18, 2017

What? Pregnant after vasectomy?

It's true!  It happened!  I blogged about it 5 years ago and wanted to summarize some fun moments since then.  We are joining The Honest Company in sharing big moments of our lives!  So welcome to anyone visiting for the first time!  #honestmoments

This month is a special month! Our 3rd child who was conceived after a "successful" vasectomy is turning 7!  Say what?!  Yes!  I got pregnant months after the procedure!  I never expected to be a mom of three especially after we “finalized” things.  As much as we joked about getting pregnant, we never thought it’d really happen!  Number 1 and number “done” we’d say referring to our daughter and son who were 4 and 2 at the time. But God had other plans for our family.

Jay had a vasectomy in January 2009 but I got pregnant months after getting the “all clear” from his urologist.  I was certain that his vas deferens grew back. He went to his urologist in September 2009 to get retested so we could fix the problem.  The doctor called Jay to tell him that he didn’t have any live sperm in his lab work.  He did have one dead one but a normal sample would have millions and he couldn't get someone pregnant {said the doctor – ha!}.  After my husband got off the phone and filled me in, I called them right back and spoke to a nurse because I was utterly confused!  I wanted to know if Jay could get an ultrasound or something to double check.  She said it wouldn’t be necessary because the vasectomy was a success based on the lab results.  I asked why there'd be one dead sperm?  She responded that it probably got hung up somewhere.  {How does THAT get hung up for months?}  I asked her what I was supposed to do for birth control as I didn’t want to have kids til I hit menopause!  Her response was and I quote:  “This sort of thing doesn’t happen unless someone else is involved.”  I was too shocked to reply.  I was just accused of infidelity!  Again my kids were 4 and 2 and I had hardly any energy for one man let alone two.  That’s absurd!  I didn’t need a man for THAT!  {I needed a personal chef or a housekeeper though!}  Besides, my man is HOT!

In March 2010, we went to a different urologist for a second opinion.  The lab results came back and Jay had zero sperm in his lab work confirming that it definitely was a “successful vasectomy”.  *Insert blank stare*  Ok seriously though... why was I pregnant???  Most people get pregnant because they didn’t wait for the all clear after the procedure or their vas deferens grew back... but neither happened to us.  Urologists say that vasectomies are 99.9% effective but no one has ever collected our data so I question that statistic now.

I get that most people reading this don’t know me and may think there must be another man and my husband is a fool.  Before we could tell this story, we decided to have DNA testing done for credibility.  Colin is indeed Jay’s son.  {Now he jokes that he’s not sure of the other two.  Haha!}  Thankfully our marriage was in a good place and he chose to trust me even before the DNA test.  I'm a very honest and direct person and he said that I had never given him any reason in our history of marriage to doubt me.

Our son was born in April 2010.  I first blogged {here} about being pregnant after a successful vasectomy in January 2012.  A reporter at the Huffington Post found it and had me on Huff Post Live {my recap here} in August 2014.  A producer for The Doctors saw that clip and invited my husband and I out to Hollywood, CA to be on the show.  So off we went to share our story with the world which aired in October 2014.  You can watch the clip {here} but the last minute was cut from what actually aired.  

Below is the last bit transcribed to read after you watch the clip.  I like how Dr. Travis recaps it:

Dr. Travis:  So this is rare enough that if people are at home, they’ve had a vasectomy and they’re thinking “Oh my gosh do I need to start using a secondary form of birth control?”
Dr. Spitz: Ya
Dr. Travis: You’re not telling people to do that right?
Dr. Spitz: The incidents of this is about 1 in 2000. And interestingly in my personal experience I’ve encountered a patient or two who’s had a scenario of a pregnancy after a vasectomy, more often than not they’re grateful they have the child.
Dr. Travis: And what’s cool about this story is Mary and Jay I think you’re saying loud and clear, this was meant to be and this was in the end a blessing.
Mary: Absolutely.
Jay: Absolutely yeah.
Dr. Travis: And that’s what matters.
Dr. Spitz: Watch that child. He’s got a bright future.
{The Doctors show aired 10/3/14. This is last minute that was cut from the segment of the show that’s posted on their website.}

He does have a bright future, as do all our children!  I can't imagine NOT having them all!

Today we share our story again not just because it’s a 7th birthday but to participate in an Honest Moment c/o The Honest Company.  My son’s conception story is just one of those moments that changed us and our family forever.   We also know we aren't the only ones to go through this. When we did an internet search after our mystery conception, there was only one other person we found in a similar situation.  When I reached out to her she said she couldn’t talk to me because she was involved in a lawsuit.  They were suing her husband’s doctor for “wrongful birth”.  We had no desire to pursue that course of action but we did want others to find us so they would know that it does happen and they aren’t alone!  I have received a few comments on that original post and it’s a hard thing to go through especially when the medical community tells you that it’s highly unlikely.

Check out The Honest Company.  And enjoy this beautiful video that celebrates the gift of pregnancy, birth and life.  Because whether planned or a surprise, it's pretty amazing!

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